What should “WE” be doing?

We are six months into 2024 and my thoughts have been on a few things.

However, I have noticed that most of the popular ideas and conversations are still in a light that is dim and very skewed. What I am writing / expressing is not long. It is not meant to divide, but simply to spark thought, conversation and hopefully change among us as a people.

Right now, believe it or not, whether you were raised to believe or not, we are in the last days. The events and things happening around us have been spoken of biblically. Yet, we sleep as we walk around as if we have all the time in the world. If I were to die today, I would die in my sins or that state of my sins( Revelation 22:11″ He that is unjust, let him be unjust still, and he that is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still, and he that is holy, let him be holy still”). We are so invested in instant access, being connected to our ancestors, and other pursuits that we have forgotten our God. 

Now I know many of you have Stopped reading at this point possibly. I pray God is with you, that he heals what is broken, and that your life is blessed all the more for it. If you are still here, well let me say this, All I say is out of love. Not just because I want to say whatever is on my mind, it’s because I struggle with what I speak of to you and it’s only through the cleansing of the Holy Spirit that I can say these words with assurance that this is the time for you to decide what you shall and will do with the Time that God has given?

What should we be doing?

So this article if I had to give it an official title, it would be Step One: What should I be doing right now…. Like Now!!!

To answer that question would be to pose another question which is, What takes up your time?

Is it a relationship, your job, your children, your passions, or aspirations?

Then, What time is left for you to seek God?

If you are like me or like most people, we get up, we work, we take care of our kids, and in between we are attached to that thing that occasionally rings. It is used more so to scroll.

Yeah, you guessed it, the phone. The first step to help know what we are supposed to be doing is to know what you were created for in the first place.

So in the Beginning God spent 7 days creating the Earth, The animals, and Man. 

He created us to be #1, in his Image.

Let’s rest on this for the remainder of this article. His image. 

When we wake up, what do we see? Who do you see?

When I was coming up, I didn’t like what I saw. The reason was that if I looked more like my dad, I thought he would be with me more and involved in my life. My character would match my appearance. 

My great-grandfather, who raised me, would call me Oreo. Black on the outside, White on the inside. This statement had a deeper effect because I am mixed race; I look a little like my dad but our skin complexion is no comparison. My dad on earth is White with Gray/ Bluish eyes and Blonde hair. I am a Caramel shade in skin tone and my hair is thin and does not hold curls or heat.  So I was not always a lover of my image when I woke up as a kid and even up until 2017.

I thought that was the issue. The crazy thing is, It was never my image to start with.

Genesis 1:27

“ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”  We have to remember whose image we have been created in and know why we were created. 

We were created to give God Glory. In your spare time, I encourage you to study and read these scriptures for yourself Isaiah 43:6-7, Psalm 29:2, and 1 Corinthians 10:31

These scriptures speak about what we are created for and how what we do should bring honor to God.  So when it comes to asking what we should be doing now.. Right now we should understand whose image we are created in; make sure we give God who created us Glory in all we do. We can’t get so busy we forget to give praise and honor to our marvelous Heavenly Father and Creator. 

I speak not as someone bigger or better or hollier than the next. I speak as someone who still has to speak this over myself to remind me I belong to God, my life is his, and I must worship him with Holiness and with love. 

Blessings to you all

The Gaps in life …. or so it seems

They say , those who say things, that in life you don’t really know your strength or your weakness until you are faced with the challenges of life . I mean real challenge. Marriage , parenting, spirituality , you name it and I have been in it in the last 6 months. I have just about lost my mind. Now don’t get me wrong here, I know God has the last and final say and I know he will work it out. However, going through the trials even with this knowledge does not lessen the sting nor the mental fatigue that causes this . I feel like I am about to bust, then the light bulb goes off. At the fresh new age of 36 I notice that I operate out of chaos. That in itself is not good nor I am I ashamed because I am one of many. Oh don’t stand and read this post and think that you are so above this because we ALL do it. Maybe not to the degree of some or others but we do. So then , how do we stop it? How do we change a patter that was either taught or we viewed our entire lives?

Well here is what I choose to do. I am choosing to let God deal and me do me. Its sound selfish but hear me out. On average a person is in one of 2 categories? The giver or the taker or both. Which means you wear one had one scope of view or many hats or personalities just to manage the day to day. So when do you take it off? When do your debrief or let go of the worries? Do you ever?

See we have to show up for everyone and never rarely do we show up for us.

Us? That’s a thing. Yes we have to show up for us!

So while we are in this Gap of life and the season is changing choose for yourself to take off all the hats and garments of life stress and decide to let God, light and love reign. To no longer let anyone or anything mainly the evil one stop you from finding peace and joy and sharing it . We have be robbed for Too Long of this gift and we find gaps of happy times because of it.

So with my tears and my heart on my sleeve at times in pieces, I am going to finally choose to live in light and peace and joy .

When life continues to happen

So life has a way of sometimes knocking you down. This week is no different. With our car and main transportation down due to no fault of our own( another story), and having to miss work , I notice something about me that I thought I would share because it may not be just me. I sat at my desk Thursday and thought about how when things in life happen, that causes a ” true” stop in how we do life, I don’t handle it as I should on a interpersonal level. So here is some of things I notice .

Lack of Desire to….

So when the car went down , I found my self in a space of why bother mode. I was not in to mode to give me or my husband a pep talk or reassurance because I felt like the when was taken out of me. Mentally I know God is always there and is present. Also felt that in those moments I just didn’t wanna attempt the “Get up and Go” vibe when we could not literary get up and go .

Worrying

I am a A type personality and a worrier. I know I know , if you pray why worry. Which I believe in prayer and let’s be real in our flesh , we are still a bit worried about the ” what if” , and the ” how will we” aspects of it all. For us and our kids we have to make sure we can both get to work and attend to the needs of the children. I worried about our bills and if I miss work how it would effect me from an attendance standpoint. Plus, it’s also bad for my heath .

Now what stage

I notice this over coffee that I have to avoid these stages of depression because that is what it is, and look for the better way to deal when life is full of uncertainties. Here is what I have come up with and you tell me if these have worked or not for you or someone you know.

1. Meditation– There is not a science to this but in my opinion , this is where you need to clear your thoughts and sit quietly to allow God to speak to you . Allow yourself to take what is happening to you to be sorted, addressed, unpacked, and then released.

2. Find stress releaser- For some its sports, for others like me is music and tea. Find what works for you but be consistent which is where I have fell short . Make sure you work on intentionally having this as a ready card and access it often just not when it is all bad. Make sure that you are taking time to release stress and make your life a little better.

3. Look at the situation for what it is, then look for resolution– So not all problems or challenges come with an easy fix. Like us, we have to have a repair and that can take time . Make sure to look at the issue with a view of , what is the impact, what is the best way to fix it, and how can I minimized catastrophic impact. You may want to make sure that you have conversations about this with your family, partner, or spouse on how , what, when, and where. For example, Uber has been my friend and yes its costly, but its better than being out of a job.

Take Away…....

Life is an experience and each day we are to learn a deeper lesson than the day before. I heard that you die once, so why not live this life fully and gratefully because all the worries and responsibilities will be here. If you died, or rather when our time comes, those responsibilities would get passed on to someone else. Why stress on them while we are here. I decided to no longer do it and I hope you do too..

Rest, Renew, and Refresh . How do you get it in?

Before you read this, I am discussing rest and some of it comes from my knowledge of the WORD, and a Spiritual level so if this offends in anyway you might wanna not read after the period.

You know since the beginning of time, God has made sure we were aware that time is important. God gave us a time set aside for rest and for renewal which is called the Sabbath which is from sunset Friday to sunset Saturday. This is our rest. How ever we live in a get up a go go go world and we can get pulled in to that ever so quickly. My question today is how do you get your rest or renewal ? What is your down time and what and how do you juggle it all? Well here are a few tips I have for achieving rest , renewal , and having healthy outlook.

Mental

Your mind must be emptied. You have to have a time where you are mindful of the need to stop and refresh and then do just that stop. For me that mean turning of my social media notifications, not answering text messages that are not of an emergency, and make it known if needed that you intended to take a day to your self to decompress. If you are like me and grew up learning about Jesus then this should all make since and you can refer to the book of Genesis for an idea of what that means when I say REST.

Physical

Get out in to the nature and experience a peaceful interaction with the world. A walk in a park or a spacious area . Nothing better than giving yourself a healthy dose of nature, fresh air, and the sounds and sites of creation. You not only change your environment for a while, you get to stretch your legs and get some movement which is always a plus.

Spiritual

I as eluted to earlier, God gave us a time specific to spending time in Rest and with him. Its called the Sabbath and there has always been a debate on it. Lets just used what we have which is the Bible. You can read for yourself a few of these verse that establish the day of Rest, what you are to do in that day, and Jesus reminding that the laws of Moses ,or Mosaic laws as they are called were not changed by him or anyone else. This is not me forcing my belief but if you are interested in this here are the scriptures you can check out. Exodus 20:8-11, Genesis 2:1-3 , and Matthew 5:17. I recommend if you do read these you can use Biblegateway.com and choose the Message translation so these make more since to you.

Takeaway

You got to remember the things in this life, the obligations, and the responsibilities, are not going to work out if you are burnt out. You have to recharge. You have to make You a priority so you can show up as your best self and be not only productive but to ensure you give your best to all that you do. Not if you don’t believe in God this does not mean you can’t have rest. You can chose what your NO is or your Boundries. Make it known if needed and be intentional and make that time to rest, renew, and refresh.

Hair is Hair . Learning to love my natural hair.

Natural Hair me please! 

That is what this Oreo screams sometimes. See I have type4c hair and it has never done what I wanted. I have studied cosmetology in high school and what I have learned over the years with my hair is this, she, my hair, hates heat and she only thrives from being straight.
I have not had a perm or any perm in over 3 yrs and I shaved my hair twice since. My hair only grows, but it is never the way most black women hair grows  out. So I decided that I would really commit to hair care this time around and here is where I am so far. I am being vulnerable here so be kind and if you have nothing kind to say please keep it to yourself.  My husband told me in early last month to try just wearing my wigs. Meanwhile, wash my hair twice a week and oil it daily with oils that promote growth. I figured I would try his idea. I am here to tell you that is way works! Now  a month later, my hair is not only growing, I have twisted underneath my wig. They are baby twits, but boy does it have a bounce to them or spring action maybe.  I learn that I can commit to something that is going to be good for me and good to me. Have you had something that you wanted to make better or change for the better?  Has that change helped or did it set you back in a way? Share in the comments and here are some photos of my hair journey thus far. I’m keeping it real and suffering from Alopecia as I have most of my life is as real as it can get. 

9/26/21 /10 My first time twisting its these were in bigger parts.

10/10/21 my twist after oiling my hair. Able to do smaller twist now.

Can’t wait to see what they will look like come December !

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Mental heath

Yesterday was world mental health day. This day brings awareness to the need for focusing on one’s mental health and to think of those who struggle silently. So here is my call to this epidemic. Men and women, black or white, teens and old alike, we have to take care of ourselves mentally, physically and spirituality. Make sure to reach out to family, friends, or local support groups if you are having a hard time with the day to day mental battles. You are stronger than you know and you win when you are in control of your mental health. For more info /resources here are a few to start with:

https://www.nami.org/get-involved/awareness-events/mental-illness-awareness-week

https://finder.psychiatry.org/

https://findapro.dbsapages.org/

New Year me please!

Well hello everyone. We are now in 2021 and I am so happy! This year, I decided to stop with the “resolutions” and to embrace change. So, Monday, as I scrolled on my device, I said I am deleting Facebook. Once it was gone, I felt good. I didn’t do it because I was mad or upset about a personal matter that happen on the ” Blue app” as it’s called. I felt a relief of sorts. Now don’t get me wrong, I use it to stay connected to old friends and family who are not in Alabama.  I just loved the move I made. Then, I deleted Instagram and Twitter. Today is day 3 of no social media and I am not upset. This break is going to be the time to invest in me. Without distractions of what others are doing and changes I see. It’s for me to get on my grind. I joined Planet fitness yesterday and plan to start today with my first at home workout they offer on their app.

I decide to be sick and tired of what is not making me happy. I must be honest, another reason for the changes in my life was because I decide to follow Christ again. I start my days, or try to before work, with personal devotion with myself and my kids giving thanks to the Lord. I have decided to let him lead me. This is a huge thing because trusting is huge, and this is requiring me to have faith and I am so excited for what God is going to do in my life.

I have found a new show to binge. Army wives which was a high rated show on Lifetime follows the lives of spouses on a Army town in South Carolina. I really was drawn to it when I found out that Sterling K. Brown of This is Us fame was a co-start on the show. I loved so far, (in season one now) the way you can see yourself identifying with at least one of the women on the show. I think I identify best with Pamela because she is a mom and wife who has moments where she may crumble. On the other hand, she is ride or die for her husband. She was coaching him in his skills as a ranger and also encouraging him. I love it.

Don’t forget I have a podcast on Anchor, “The Ebony Experience with Mrs. Brown Ebony.” New episodes are posted on Fridays!

I will let you all know when I decide to go back to the social media outlets soon. Stay Tuned.

Locs of Love

As a Pisces, our characteristics are water signs that are free-spirited individuals. I can surely say that is me for sure. I have alopecia which is hereditary and has plagued me all my life. With me having health issues to boot, healthy hair is hard to keep or come by. So when I do have some hair on my head,  or what has in the passed worked was having locs. Now locs are for some is the locking up of your natural hair. If you are like me that may not be an option, but plan B is. My plan B was yarn locs. I purchase 100% acrylic yarn from the local Walmart.  I have loved my experience.  I pick a color that speaks to my mood and I feel liberated. I have off and on done this since 2015 and I have had the most fun with it. With colors, you can do it all. Here are a few of my favs and pics of the growth after taking them down.  What is your “labor of love” or your “liberation” that you do that frees you in a way that nothing else does?

 

Five ways you can make working from home a breeze

Currently,  we are in a new normal. With a pandemic that doesn’t have a clear end in sight, we have to now adapt to what is the norm. For some, it’s face masks all day at work, for others like you and me,  its remote work. So how can you make working from home a smooth transition, here are a few ways you can make that could work for you.

1: Space

Your workspace is going to play a major role in how you work. You want the area to be away from distractions such as kids, pets(if possible) , and tv sets. What I suggest is adding some fun items to the area. In my personal workspace, I have drawings from my kids, bible quotes, and a flower I got from DollarTree to bring life to the area.

2: Lighting

With lighting, it can have a good and bad experience so its important that if your area allows it, have some type of window space with blinds. This way if the light becomes too much you can dem it to your liking. It also is cool to have when even the raining days come to bring a calming effect to a stressful day.

3: Music

So music is a mood booster in any setting. Having music can create a warm atmosphere that allows good vibes to come and hang.  Because most of our work at home may be customer-oriented I would recommend having the music across the room from your work area and a suitable level so you are able to hear your customer and not allow the music to become a distraction.

4: Chair

Your chair is everything to this process. The chair makes this smooth transition almost complete. You want to make sure you have a chair that is going to provide back support and comfort as you are seated in this chair for 4 to 8 hours a day.

 

5: Leave work at work

When you have ended the day and its time to clock out, make it your practice to leave the workspace, not live in it. Although we are all remote now, you have to have some distance. Make sure you have your breaks and lunches away from the workspace too.  Having the distance makes it easy to mentally separate work from personal, even though its right down the hall.